Unhappy woman in an abusive relationship

7th December 2016

It’s been a long but a very, VERY good day! I met Marcus after work. Luckily it was just him – one of his friends was looking after little Elijah. He was on time to Nandos, and extremely courteous. He did make a joke about how much I eat though – I didn’t mind too much – I do love my food! And I’ve vowed to be myself around him as much as possible, so he can accept me for who I am.  I don’t want to say too soon, but I really think he’s matured! Time apart can really help people to see the error of their ways. Maybe he just needed time away from me to realise just how much I really mean to him.


It won’t go down very well at home or with my friends. Well I’m almost past caring what other people think. It’s my life and it’s up to me to make my own successes and mistakes. What do the personal development books say – follow your own path. I’m still playing it cautiously though. We’ve agreed to keep our friendship (for now!) under wraps until we are both confident with how we want to proceed.

I do hate keeping secrets, but this one is DEFINITELY for the greater good.

8th December 2016

I went on another ‘date’ tonight with the changed Marcus. He treated me to some gorgeous food at a Caribbean restaurant on Wardour Street. I told him about my how everything is going well at work and my upcoming performance – he’s so happy for me! His love life has been non-existent since I left him. He hasn’t even dated – he’s poured all of his attentions into his work and his lovely son. He was a bit apprehensive asking me about my love life – he looked very awkward lol. I told him that there hasn’t been anyone else. He didn’t believe me – according to him it’s impossible that someone as “stunning” as myself would still be single. He was surprised I hadn’t been snapped up yet!

So sweet! 🙂

I explained that I was concentrating on improving my situation and my career prospects. I told him about Brandon though, to which I detected a split second of jealous pass over his face. I know Brandon cares for me, but I don’t want him to think of me as anything more than a friend.

Can you believe it – Marcus wants to attend my work party as my plus one! That would be a fairy tale come true for me. It would certainly make a change from being dateless at nearly every function I’ve been to. What’s even better – none of my friends that already know him or my family will be there so they’ll never find out! He thinks I would be good if Brandon sees me with him, since it will help Brandon to get the message that I want things between us to remain strictly platonic. I’m inclined to agree with him.

9th December 2016


I’m not exactly sure what to do.

Marcus made the most romantic gesture tonight after work. He surprised me in a Chinese restaurant with a stunning black dress to wear for my Christmas work party! It’s a gorgeous velvet, long, has quite the plunge line and is figure hugging. The only problem is…

It’s a size 10!!!!!!!

I’m a size 14 – well actually a 13 since I’m in between sizes. He was so excited when I opened it – his eyes lit up!! It’s a beautiful dress but I’m the wrong shape for it – (I’m more pear than hourglass) and there’s absolutely no way I can drop one and a half dress sizes in 11 days. He became concerned when he saw the worry in my face – I should really try to control my facial expressions more! He paid £199 for it and apparently it is non-returnable and non-refundable. He just assumed I was a size 10 (he was convinced of it!), since most of the women he has dated have all been that dress size.

I tried it on when I got home. I almost split it, and it accentuates all my curves in all the wrong places! My tummy area constantly looks like it is 3 months pregnant, but that’s because I have IBS.

And it looks like a football in this lovely dress.

I didn’t ask him to spend a ridiculous amount of money on me for a work party. But I don’t want to let him down. I know I’m hardly a supermodel. I’ve always wanted to slim down, and I have quite a bit – I just haven’t lost as much as I would have liked. I haven’t taken it as seriously as I should have. Well now I have an incentive.

But it’s going to be really hard. I suppose I can do a crash diet and do as much exercise as I can fit in – hopefully it won’t prove too harmful.

Why did he choose me then? I think it’s quite obvious that I’m not a size 10!

Never mind – it’s the thought that counts. 🙂

I’m going to have to dust off the Shaun-T DVDs. Maybe do double or triple workouts if my body will allow me to, that is?

It’s going to be an excruciating 11 days! 🙁

10th December 2016

I’m only one day into this awful regime and it’s already taking its toll on me. I did two Shaun-T workouts today – one from Cize and another from T-25 Alpha (I really should be doing at least Beta!) but doing double training is an absolute and unwelcome shock to my system. I attempted to reduce my calorie intake by half. I’m so hungry and I’m having difficulty concentrating.

Concentrating on the 3 hours of piano practice was pure torture. My tummy rumbled the whole way through. I tried to disguise it by playing loudly when it growled. But Brandon and I have made significant progress and have made up for last week. I left before our usual meal together (I hope I didn’t hurt him too much – I know he looks forward to our takeaways or cooking sessions), psyching myself up for an ordinary plain salad (not even salad dressing!). I couldn’t do it and ended up cheating, eating a bowl of tuna and pasta which I reluctantly only ate half of.

I’m failing already. 🙁

I’ll have to tell Marcus to at least try and see if he can get his money back. I’ve been successful on some occasions. Once I held up a queue for 20 mins until the manager gave in and refunded me even though it was supposedly against their policy! I wasn’t rude, I was just really assertive and I used my knowledge of consumer law. At least my legal training has all been in vain lol. He could use some of that charm that he has in abundance!

I sincerely hope he can, because if not one of two things will happen.

I’ll let him down or let myself down.

I thought I was making so much progress in my life. Why can’t I summon the willpower to go ahead with a strict regime for a few more days? Am I really that lazy and undisciplined? What will he think if he sees me in it?

I’m not the perfect shape or size to do his gift any justice.

Gosh – is my body really that awful?


Will our Diary writer have the strength do what is right for her, and put herself out of her current misery? Find out in Chapter 17…



  • Do you think Marcus has given our beloved and naïve Diary writer the wrong dress size by accident or on purpose?

Missed some? Catch up here:

Chapter 1   *   Chapter 2   *   Chapter 3   *   Chapter 4   *   Chapter 5   *   Chapter 6   *   Chapter 7   *   Chapter 8   *   Chapter 9   *   Chapter 10   *   Chapter 11   *   Chapter 12   *   Chapter 13   *   Chapter 14   *   Chapter 15  

Credits: Original Picture by GraphicStock

Related Posts

Comments which are offensive or off-topic will be deleted.

Leave a Reply