Unhappy woman in an abusive relationship

19th November 2016

We got quite a lot accomplished today, Brandon and I. He’s a stickler for time. I was fifteen minutes late meeting him outside Yamaha Music (but that was the train’s fault, not mine), but luckily he didn’t berate me too much.

I should definitely go in there more regularly, rather than simply buying sheet music online. It felt really good to search through lots of manuscripts trying to find something suitable that we could both agree on. There is far too much choice! After looking around for one and a half hours, we decided on getting a piano duet book of Christmas Carols.

It’s certainly doable within the timeframe we have. Brandon will be playing the higher part and I’ll be playing the lower. As long as I don’t trip over the fast scale and arpeggio sections, I should be fine.

We got some lunch at Wasabi and then made our way to his flat to practice.

It is GORGEOUS!!! A minimalist feel which really works. It’s light and airy. Could do with a woman’s touch though to make it even more impressive! And he played down his piano – he has a shiny black baby grand.


I couldn’t wait to try it out. We practiced for two hours, stumbling with our sight-reading. Some points were hilarious, but we had definitely made headway by the end of the session.

And it didn’t end there. He cooked me dinner. It was only spaghetti bolognaise but it was delicious – he was taught well by his parents – and it’s the thought that counts. I’ve promised that next time around, I will do the honours.

I can’t wait to show off my cooking skills – he’s going to be truly amazed!! 🙂

23rd November 2016

Life is going really well. I love my job, I’m getting on really well with my work colleagues, I’ve made a friend who is almost as passionate about the piano as I am. I just need one thing to feel totally good about myself.

I want my best friend.

I want Chantal back.

I have written a letter to her. I miss her so much. I hope she responds, but I haven’t heard anything lately. I don’t like getting updates from Perry and Rae. We used to spend hours talking on the phone and sharing secrets.

There’s nothing for it. I’m going to have to go and see her. I’ll find out where she is and then surprise her. I don’t want to run the risk of her avoiding me if she is forewarned.

25th November 2016

I can’t believe it. I saw him again, in nearly the exact same place. With Elijah again. Can’t I catch a break? Is this some sort of test? He grabbed my wrist (not painfully tightly like last time) to make me stop and listen to what he had to say. He looks really sad. He wanted to know if I was okay and that he was glad I was making something of my life. That was sweet of him. Elijah has such a sweet smile and expressive eyes just like his father. Our child would have looked like that.


Why do I keep thinking such things? Marcus treated me abominably. And actions speak far louder than words. He sounds all contrite, but is it just to suck me back in? Or is he genuinely happy for me and is sad that I was possibly the special one that he let get away with his behaviour? Would his behaviour improve or worsen if I was to give him another chance?

Brandon may not be my boyfriend (although we are getting closer) but he has set the benchmark high. At least we have some things in common and he doesn’t have any baggage. My first relationships should not be with men who have children and an ex-wife. It’s far too messy and I would like to be treated high up on someone’s list. I am too young to be competing with someone else’s child and baby mother.

Keeping things simple will be best.

26th November 2016

Practice with Brandon was good, apart from the mistakes I kept making when my mind constantly wandered. He could tell I was distracted. He asked if I was okay, but didn’t press the matter any further, thank goodness.

At least he’s very emotionally intelligent. I made a spectacular chicken madras with pilau rice and a gorgeous creamy avocado salad and he made some raspberry jelly to go with the ice cream I bought. Yummy! 🙂 We spoke for two hours (it’s so refreshing to converse at dinner without the TV on).

It was then that things started to go downhill.

My mobile rang, but I didn’t recognise the number so I ignored it and put it on silent. Fifteen minutes later, the light feature on my phone flashed persistently. After the third call, I began to panic that something was wrong and answered it.

There was no response for 10 seconds. I was just about to hang up, thinking it was a prank caller or a nuisance telesales company when I heard a voice.

That voice.

HIS voice.

I quickly terminated the call, but it was enough.

Enough to make up my mind.

Trainboy owes me an explanation for his past behaviour towards me. Why did he treat me so badly when all I wanted was to be with him? There are too many unanswered questions. It doesn’t mean I’ll go back to him at all. At the very least, he can give me that.

Curiosity won’t kill me. I’m not a cat, after all.

Will our Diary Writer meet Marcus? Find out in Chapter 15…



  • Should you demand answers from those who have wronged you, or should you cut all contact with them?
  • Why are people attracted to those who are bad for them?

Missed some? Catch up here:

Chapter 1   *   Chapter 2   *   Chapter 3   *   Chapter 4   *   Chapter 5   *   Chapter 6   *   Chapter 7   *   Chapter 8   *   Chapter 9   *   Chapter 10   *   Chapter 11   *   Chapter 12   *   Chapter 13       

Credits: Original Picture by GraphicStock

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