Unhappy woman in an abusive relationship

24th October 2016

Today was my first day at my work training course in Eastbourne. It’s been pretty intensive so far but I’m glad I’m on it. The courses away are part of the reason I decided chose this job role with this company over the other I was offered. I need my independence. It was hard wrenching myself away from my family (I do hate leaving home), but I have to fly the nest more often. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to have to do things completely by myself since my uni days.

It’s pretty cold, and there’s not that much to do down here – I’m sure it would be really nice in summer though. Some of my colleagues at lunch time took a dip in the sea – they are crazy!  It’s been nice getting to know my colleagues better. We’re all from the September intake so we are all newbies. Most have been really nice and friendly. Others, well, let’s just say seem extremely ruthless in their ambition. I swear, some of them would have no problem killing you if it meant they would get further up the career ladder lol. I’ll be wary of them.

The hotel food though, is pretty grim. I forced myself to eat breakfast, had to leave the restaurant to go to town centre to get a takeaway for lunch and managed to stomach a few mouthfuls at dinner. I really hope the meals improve. If not, by the end of the week, I’ll either be as thin as a rake or a roly-poly pudding, feasting on takeaways and junk food!

I didn’t go to the bar tonight (I should get an early night) so I can be fresh for tomorrow. I only got three hours sleep – silly packing took a lot longer than expected!

I’m off to bed – I need at least 8 hours to make up for lost sleep otherwise I’m going to extremely grouchy in the morning!

25th October 2016

Today was awesome! Some really interesting and entertaining speakers came from London today to give presentations on the history of the company as well as its future, which we will be players in shaping. Apparently we were all chosen since we demonstrated great problem-solving and creativity skills and a high ability to think outside of the box. It’s very satisfying to be recognised for your talent. 🙂

Had to skip the hotel lunch again. Seriously, why can’t they keep lunch simple? The fancier they try to make it, the more inedible it looks. A total fail! I ended up with McDonalds for a second day in a row – my body won’t thank me for it lol.

At least it’s given me another opportunity to look around the town centre. It isn’t bad at all. It’s got all my favourite shops and I’ve found a shortcut to return to the hotel. The shop fronts have their Halloween items displayed. I’m so glad I’ll be home before then – I really hate Halloween!

I was really social tonight and went to the bar with a few of my colleagues after yet another disappointing dinner. I surprised myself – I was only planning to stay half an hour maximum, but ended up staying for two hours. I had to leave around 11:30pm to Skype home. Besides some of them were getting rowdy with the amount of alcohol they were drinking. I really don’t see the point – they’re not on holiday!

They’re gonna feel it tomorrow.

26th October 2016

The tutor was not impressed. Half of my colleagues skulked in up to 2 hours after the start of the morning session. The lack of people at the start gave us early birds the chance to mix up our tables and do some group work. I was put in the same group as three colleagues I really hit it off with last night. Amara has a legal background just like me and Sebastian and Brandon were previously engineers. We all have one thing in common – we all wanted a change. I really like them (I call them the three amigos!).

We’ve exchanged numbers now so we can meet up to go down to dinner together. I could just knock on Brandon’s door – he’s only a few doors down from me on the 5th floor, but Amara’s on the 3rd and Sebastian’s on the 6th.

My parents would definitely approve of Sebastian and Brandon. They seem genuinely friendly and considerate without an ulterior motive and feel totally different to Marcus (using my intuition here). Not that I’m looking for a boyfriend yet – I still need to work on myself and I’m slowly getting used to enjoying my own company.

Amara reminds me a bit of Chantal.

We decided to go to an Indian restaurant nearby and then headed back to the hotel bar. That was fun! There was a live singer and pianist and we danced for hours. I eventually left at 11:50pm though Brandon has just Whatsapp’d me to say he’s only just left at 1:30am. Very nice of him to message me even if it is really late lol.

Why am I still awake? I need to be up at 6:30am. I’ll skip breakfast – not missing much anyway! – and get up at 7:15am instead.

27th October 2016

Today consisted of a series of surprise psychometric tests as well as a personality questionnaire and a brief one-minute presentation on a work-subject given to us at random, a few seconds beforehand to see how well we cope with spontaneity and pressure. The tests were quite alright – I’ve mastered the technique with all those months of practising.

The one-minute presentation?

I’d give myself an 8 of out of 10 but I could have done better. I looked at the stopwatch with 21 seconds to go and it completely threw me! I managed to recover after a few seconds to give a few more sentences and announce my call to action. I think the teacher was quite pleased with all of our efforts.

We’re not a bad bunch at all!

Brandon’s was the best, but I was a close second I think. He’s a natural public speaker – it doesn’t faze him at all. And he really connects with the audience. That’s one thing I need to improve on – I get so involved with my thoughts that I forget to look at the people listening to me. His body language is confident, relaxed and self-assured and he’s very eloquent.  I’ll have to ask him for some tips.

We went to a café for lunch today, just the two of us. Amara and Sebastian were busy and the others were happy to have the hotel lunch. It was lovely getting to know him. He rents a flat in West London and has two older brothers and a younger sister. He doesn’t have a ring on his finger (or mark where a ring used to be) and he hasn’t mentioned a partner.

Not that that’s relevant!

It’s really refreshing to converse with someone for a long time on an intellectual level with no signs of boredom.

We both braved the evening meal tonight at the hotel (he isn’t too keen on the food either!) and went to a pub with all the others for the last night at the hotel. He even walked me back after when I decided to leave early, cutting his conversation with the others short and we found ourselves for yet another hour in the hotel bar.

He’s really easy to talk to and he makes me laugh.

He’s certainly made the week entertaining.

Good guys certainly aren’t extinct! 🙂

28th October 2016

It was bittersweet leaving Eastbourne today. I miss the hotel, the classes and the socialising.

Definitely the socialising!

I don’t, obvviously, miss the food (YUCK!!!) and I’m glad to be in my own bed again.

I got train back to London, Victoria with Amara, Sebastian and Brandon. We’ve arranged to go out next Friday after work. I can’t wait!

I have my memories and hopefully the start of some great friendships.

A good week overall.


Do any of our Diary Writer’s friendships evolve into something more? Find out in Chapter 13…


  • How important is it to expand your social circles and experience new things?
  • Does our Diary Writer seem ready to start dating again or should she work on herself more?

Missed some? Catch up here:

Chapter 1   *   Chapter 2   *   Chapter 3   *   Chapter 4   *   Chapter 5   *   Chapter 6   *   Chapter 7   *   Chapter 8   *   Chapter 9   *   Chapter 10   *   Chapter 11

Credits: Original Picture by GraphicStock

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