Unhappy woman in an abusive relationship

29th April 2016

It’s been a whole week since I’ve written in you Diary. I’m just fed up of mentioning that g*t! These past few months my diary entries have been completely dominated by him, and he’s absolutely not worth it. He’s not worth losing my friends over. I will try to make amends with Chantal. I hope she forgives me, but I only have myself to blame if she doesn’t.

He’s pathetically been phoning me at least 4 times a day since last Friday. As if he thinks his stunt at the hotel and the train would do him any favours! The boy (I can’t call him a man if he act’s so childishly!) is totally deluded and thinks far too much of himself.  I did, however, speak to him today and not because I missed him – I do (annoyingly), but the desire to get in touch with him or hear his voice despite of his actions, is waning.

I arranged to meet him and did meet him, but only to get the mobile phone account transferred into his name. I left immediately afterwards. He looked deflated, but I’m past caring (or at the very least getting to that point).

I’m slowly feeling more and more like myself again – my sanity is bit by bit being restored! You really have to take a huge step back to gain a true perspective.

So I’m single (again!) but not as desperate as I once was. I’m in no hurry to find anyone else – Train Boy has put me off of men for life!!!

Well almost.

For now, I’ll concentrate on getting on the career ladder and making a life for myself. Things should be slightly easier now without that g*t ruining things for me!

6th June 2016

Hi Diary. I know it’s been a very long time but you’ll be happy with what I’ve got to tell you! It’s true what they say – get rid of the negative and positive things really do start to happen!



was my first day at work!!!!

It’s not permanent – it’s with an agency – but at least it’s a foot in the door! And I have money coming in now, so I no longer have to rely on the bank of mum and dad. I’m working as a receptionist for now for an accountancy firm on the Strand, just four days a week – Monday to Thursday – which is brilliant! I get a long weekend! There was no gentle initiation, but rather a baptism of fire! I was thrown right in the deep end. The person whose role I’ve taken over is ill and will be away for a few weeks and her system was in complete disarray. No one else could make head or tail of her methods – utter chaos! I’m going to sort it out in between the quiet periods.

My Microsoft Office skills are generally good (though I need to brush up on Access in the evenings when I get home) and everyone is really nice. They all dress really well and their hair and makeup is immaculate. Looking good everyday is hard work, especially when you don’t really wear makeup. I’ll just try my best.

Finally, PROGRESS!!! 🙂

I’m tired, but very happy, so I’m going to bed. Got an early start tomorrow!

14th July 2016

Today was my last day at the accountancy firm. Even though I was only there for a short while, I am sad that I’ve had to say goodbye to my friends there. Well at least I can add my stint there to my CV. I hope I can find somewhere else that accessible. I only had to get one train to Charing Cross. I don’t know how people survive having to take both trains and tubes during the rush hour – it’s just too stressful!

The agency says that the firm were very impressed with me, and would like to invite me back when the need arises. I’m glad they recognise my worth and were pleased with my work – the person who will return to her role next week should find my updated system of doing things very effective – a lot more than her own at any rate! Until then, the agency will try to find something else for me. That would be great, but it could take months. I will keep looking for permanent jobs around the same location.

I returned Chantal’s £300 she gave me via cheque. She hasn’t responded to any of my calls, but hopefully she’ll relent soon. I miss my friend. 🙁

So it’s back to job applications and practising for my piano exam. I was an absolute fool for even considering giving it up, especially for someone as unworthy as Marcus (I haven’t seen or heard from him since the phone transfer)! And I have saved enough of my earnings to pay for one lesson a week for the next three months – my piano teacher will surely be pleased. 🙂

I’ll get another role before the three months is done.

I’m certain of it!

14th September 2016

I’ve done the odd day here and there at different locations (mostly receptionist and secretarial roles) but every penny helps. And next week, I have 3 interviews for different roles and 3 different companies and the opportunities for promotions at all 3 look promising.


Isn’t it funny – you hardly get any successful application responses and then they all come at once lol! It’s going to be a tense and stressful week, but a permanent job could almost certainly come out of it!

No, WILL come out of it!

I have to be as confident as Muhammad Ali (God rest his soul!). I must keep my eyes firmly fixed on the prize! My family are pleased with my progress and fighting spirit and are helping me to prepare for them.

I’m more certain of myself now. I am making things happen for myself.


Even though Chantal still isn’t talking to me, I know she’ll be proud of me. She’s silently rooting for me – I know she is! Rae and Perry are. 🙂

I’m happy, nervous and excited all at once. At least the torture will be over by next week Friday. I don’t want to wish my life away (I’ve been told to live firmly in the present – too many personal development books!) but I can’t wait until then.

It’s gradually starting to get cooler and the days slightly darker. I need more of the joys of summer – we just never get enough sun and heat here in the UK. I always feel a little depressed after the Notting Hill Carnival – the weather always goes downhill from there…

Oh well, I can’t do anything about that.

But I can help transform my life by the end of next week though.

Success is around the corner – I can feel it.

And it’s mine for the taking.


Will our Diary Writer be successful at her interviews? Find out in Chapter 12…


  • Do you need to rid yourself of toxic relationships in order to succeed and move on?

Missed some? Catch up here:

Chapter 1   *   Chapter 2   *   Chapter 3   *   Chapter 4   *   Chapter 5   *   Chapter 6   *   Chapter 7   *   Chapter 8   *   Chapter 9   *   Chapter 10

Credits: Original Picture by GraphicStock

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