“It’s not my fault!”
“She made me do it!”
“They made me that way!”
“I’ve had really bad experiences!”
We regularly find reasons for why something hasn’t worked out, why we were late, why we haven’t done as well as we intended.
“The train was delayed!”
The list is endless.
Now, I’m not saying that there aren’t valid reasons. Sometimes there are.
Yet other times there aren’t (and you know it!).
So if there isn’t a proper excuse why do we continue to do it? I must admit, from personal experience, it is easier to put blame elsewhere for your failings in order to feel better about yourself. You can try to justify to others that failure was due to forces beyond your control. Take for example, arriving for work…
Yes, on some occasions, it may be due to traffic, roadworks, or maybe (hopefully not though) an accident. If this, however, was to continue day after day, week after week, month after month, then you seriously have to examine yourself. They say that insanity is doing the same thing everytime and expecting a different outcome. What are you doing to constantly produce that same result?
- Getting up late?
- Taking a late train or bus etc.?
- Not leaving home in sufficient time to make your journey?
- Taking a long route?
What if your reasons are more serious? Say you had been abused, raped, neglected or been through some other traumatic situation. These are extremely major incidents and obviously time is needed to come to terms with it. With situations such as these, it is not your fault and you have every right to blame someone else. I hope you seek counselling to process it and move forward. However, if you are making poor decisions decades later and blaming them on your past experiences then unfortunately that is on you. You must take charge of your life.
You may be able to fool others (for a while), but there is only so long you can fool yourself. And what is the point in lying to yourself? Eventually, you end up looking and feeling like a clown.
The tragic and unfunny kind.
After a while of this sort of constant clown-like behaviour I would feel awful and angry at myself.
How could I let this happen yet again?
I wanted to terminate this ridiculous cycle of inadequacy yet felt unable to.
I was powerless.
No. That’s a lie. It was easier to pretend that I was. Easier to suppress potential and wallow in the mire.
But we humans have more power and ability than we give ourselves credit for.
Sooner or later you will have to take responsibility for your actions. It is only then that you can move forward.
Don’t you want to progress?
So how do you drop the clown’s face and break out of it?