So what’s the solution to the Friends With Benefits conundrum?
There are three that I can think of…
1. Give it a go…but be prepared for the possibility of getting hurt
If you wanted to, you could always give it a go, trying really hard to keep your emotions firmly switched off. But, as mentioned before, that is a lot easier said than done. Maybe, just maybe, you might have a happy ending as you both realise that you do have real feelings for each other and want to take things further. But prepare yourself for the more likely possibility of hurt feelings and one person wanting more from the other. And if the benefits end, a termination on the friendship side could happen too.
2. Try to remain friends
You can try and have a strictly platonic relationship with the FWB proposer. Explicitly state that sex will not factor into the equation, but that you are happy to try and be friends. If you are lucky, they might value your friendship and just being your friend will be enough for them. If they appreciate you and your friendship, they will stick around. You might even find that you have a lot in common and share the same passions and interests.
If the FWB proposer doesn’t want a friendship, however, then it is obvious that they weren’t interested in being your friend in the first place and were only ever concerned with ‘getting laid’. This might not happen immediately. In fact, the friendship might fizzle out over a matter days, weeks or months when the FWB proposer finally admits to themselves that there really won’t be any ‘benefits’ attached, and that you are being true to your word. In this case, the FWB will not bother waste any more time with you if they can get their ideal arrangement elsewhere. With either scenario, you will remain with your self-worth and dignity intact.
3. Find someone who deserves you
Yes, it might mean that you still feel lonely and are still without a boyfriend or girlfriend. Yes, you might ultimately be missing out on a great potential friendship or relationship, but at least you won’t be in danger of compromising your morals and having your self-worth taking a huge nose-dive! Focus your attentions on attracting someone who would be proud to commit to you and wants to show you off to their family, friends and the world. Someone who you can happily get emotionally attached to and can go on dates with. Find someone who recognises and appreciates how special you are. You deserve to be treated in the best way possible.
So what will you decide? The decision is yours…
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