You’ve met a person. They seem to be really nice and you decide to give them the benefit of the doubt and give them a chance. They could be relationship material! You exchange numbers. You seem to have a lot in common and are getting on like a house on fire. You chat a lot, you text a lot, you arrange to meet up. They seem really charming and it’s confirmed…
Romance isn’t dead!!
The air is full of promise.
You’ve quizzed them about their status and established that they are single.
So far so good!
From what you can gather, there are no (ex)partners to contend with, and if they were in previous relationships and/or have had children, the relationships with their exes have been mutually ended amicably. But you haven’t yet got around to asking your potential beau one of the most crucial questions and so you decide to put it off no longer. You pluck up the courage to ask them what sort of relationship they are looking for.
You start daydreaming about all the possibilities.
- A serious relationship or one founded on friendship and built on from there;
- Romantic dates;
- Maybe meeting each other’s family and friends;
- Marriage or kids (although possibly way too early to be thinking about this!).
Their response: they want you to be their Friend with Benefits.
You ask them to repeat themselves in case you’ve heard incorrectly, but it’s the same answer.
Your hearing is perfectly fine!
They don’t want to commit to a relationship with you, but they want to be ‘friends’ and engage in sexual activity with you without the emotional drama.
1. Stare at them dumfounded?
2. Get angry for them having the audacity to suggest such a thing?
3. Walk away? or
4. Feel perfectly fine with it?
Now some people are fine with this set-up. If you are one of them and both of you are happy to have this sort of relationship and you aren’t hurting each other, then go for it! It works for some. It’s your prerogative.
Some people appreciate the honesty, regardless of what they personally think about the situation. Forewarned is forearmed as they say!
Some people can just walk away with a classy and dignified exit.
Some people are shocked at the audacity of being asked.
And some get angry. Very angry. It is a far cry from what they want and expect. They feel insulted and outraged. What is it about this type of relationship that gives people a bad taste in their mouths?