Arm yourself with the following defence strategies:
1. Keep calm
Think calming, peaceful thoughts while you are under assault. A gentle flowing stream? A warm and sunny summer’s day etc.? You get my drift. You can even attempt taking subtle deep breaths and concentrate on that. Try not to get angry (I know that’s easier said than done!), otherwise you will be surrendering your power to the controlling one! At the end of the day, the only person who should have power over your emotions, is yourself. Don’t let them drown you in their domineering maelstrom!
2. Be assertive
Stand your ground and know your own mind. Politely but firmly and confidently convey that you will do what you think is best. Even the one-word answer will suffice…
Don’t be afraid to say ‘no’ – no one has the right to pressurise you into doing something that you don’t want to do. Ensure your body language reinforces what you are saying. No slouching and/or looking at the ground – that will never do! Instead, stick your chest out, shoulders back, head up and look the ‘control freak’ in the eye.
3. Don’t feel the need to constantly justify yourself
This nearly always ends up as a battle you will ultimately lose. Your explanations are usually drowned out as the domineering person talks right over you, like you weren’t even there. If you need to, explain yourself once, maybe twice. Anything else on the same issue during the same confrontation is bordering on ridiculous, not to mention a waste of your breath and energy! To the controlling one, they are rarely wrong. They are divine guidance, sent to put you on their right path.
But you have your own path to follow.
4. Try to ascertain why they are controlling
Attempt to discover why they need to control everything. Are they
- under pressure?
- suffering from paranoia?
- suffering from another issue they need to address?
While this does not in any way excuse their poor treatment of you, it does help to put things in context.
5. Walk way if necessary
There’s no point going round and round in circles. The only person who will be adversely affected by it is you! If the repressive roundabout is making you dizzy, leap off and dash for the nearest exit!
6. Avoid as much as possible
If three out of four times it is highly likely that the controlling person will cause you stress and tension upon an encounter, stay out of their way as much as possible. Why have a dose of misery heaped upon your day if you can avoid it? If the controlling person questions you about your lack of contact, don’t be afraid to politely tell them why you have resorted to keeping your distance from them.
7. Keep confident
Keep positive, upbeat and be confident in yourself and your abilities. You have a lot more potential and ability than the controlling person gives you credit for! Work on your self-worth to the point that negative encounters become like water off of a duck’s back. Don’t let someone’s storm wreck your clear and beautiful sky.
I hope these help you!
Have you had problems with a ‘control freak’? What did you do to combat the situation?
Please leave comments below.
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