No one should stay in a relationship that makes them unhappy.
It sounds simple enough to say. But it doesn’t mean it is as simple as that in reality.
The fact of the matter is, lots of people are stuck in unhappy relationships. And that’s really, really sad. Some people are tolerating so many straws, the weight would have broken the proverbial camel’s back multiple times over!
Why is it when an unhappy person has the opportunity to flee from the oppressive relationship dungeon, they can sometimes be reluctant, or even petrified, to make a break for it?
What is trapping them like a ghost tied to a house?
There can be many reasons. Here are eight of them:
1. The kids
The suffering partner might feel they have no choice but to languish in a bad relationship for the sake of their child or children. Even though the relationship may be well and truly dead, they do not want their children to be adversely impacted by splitting up.
Some caught up in bad relationships are used to having a partner, even if their partner is only physically but not emotionally there for them, or even if the company is oppressive – no company is worse than bad company! They do not feel that they would be able to cope well on their own.
3. Lacking self-confidence and self-worth
Some people do not feel confident or do not believe in themselves enough to end things and start anew. Some have had their sense of self-belief and self-worth systematically shattered by others, so much so, that the option to leave is unthinkable – they are convinced that they wouldn’t deserve or find any love from another if they left. As a result, they are trapped living in wretched circumstances.
4. Lack of finances
Some would not be able to support themselves financially and so are stuck. Whilst they might be able to survive financially with the aid of their partner, they unfortunately do not earn enough to sustain an independent life – indeed, the costs of living separately and paying bills etc. can be eye-watering!
5. Feeling like a failure
Some people view ending things as a massive personal failure. They could not bear to be perceived as such in their own eyes or in the eyes of others – it would leave them guilt-ridden.
6. No support network
Some have no family or friends to rely on or help them, were they to end their relationship. Some have been isolated from their relatives and friends, so that their oppressive partner is the only person they can depend on. Consequently, they feel that they would have no one to turn to in such a scenario.
7. Time and energy invested in a relationship
Some partners might have spent a long period (perhaps years or even decades!) building their relationship nest. They might have bought property, raised children together, and have been there for each other during the bad as well as good times. They would regard breaking up as a huge waste of valuable energy and commitment, for they would perceive it all as having amounted to nothing.
8. Familiarity vs fear of the unknown
For some people, this might be the first relationship they have ever been in. Others might have been with their partner for a long while. For them, the relationship may admittedly be far from ideal, but they are ‘comfortable’ in it. Ending things would lead to uncertainty. They prefer the devil they know, so would try to avoid finishing things in order to prevent straying into unknown territories.
No one deserves to be unhappy. There’s no point living a miserable existence – that’s not what you were put on this earth for. A relationship may be dead and buried but you aren’t! Try to find someone who cherishes you and makes your soul sing! Happy love is waiting for you… be brave and find it!